Thoughts on reaching my thousandth post

For that’s what this post is — I didn’t realize I was approaching that until I finished up my posts earlier today and discovered that the next one would be number 1000.

That said, this won’t be a retrospection on my various blog posts until now or the like, not even much of a retrospection at all. Still, the day and the time demands something, and after feeling very much out of it all this week due to the lingering illness that seems to finally be ebbing away, at least in fits and starts.

As any regular or demi-regular readers of mine have likely noticed, and as I’ve mentioned from time to time, my earlier days of extensive reflections have gone a bit by the boards in recent months. In large part this has been due to a combination of work necessity — I’ve been a lot busier at my day job — and an increased focus on my professional writing. Further, the extensive political commentary I somehow became a bit known for last year is not something I’m interested in pursuing full time — not for lack of interest, but because the dice were rolled, and now we watch and wait as the consequences of those decisions play out further.

There is however something to be said for the simple joy of typing out one’s thoughts as one chooses in the knowledge that you can stand or fall by them without fear of greater repercussions. The same cannot be said for many people in this world. Without, hopefully, sounding too unconsciously enthralled to what one writer has rightly called ‘the western gaze’ as applied in this historical moment, the tragic idiocies on display in Iran today serve as a cruel reminder of this.

I have mentioned before that at times of self-pity I remind myself that perspective is needed, that in comparison to many others I have never truly had it bad. So too here. It robs one of language because it makes one realize how inadequate it is to capture those senses of angry frustration, those senses of scathing contempt for those who cloak their sadism under the guise of official maintenance of law and order, those senses of black comedy when one looks at an organization such as the Iranian power structure and realizes that they are even more stupider and cruel than one already suspected.

It robs the language of sentiment as well, to try and say something about hope. And yet, the timing perhaps suggests a proxy for me — the new VNV Nation album, loaded with anthemic sentiments, concludes with a song rapidly becoming one of my favorites, “Where There Is Light.” The song of course was not written for today’s events or the past week’s, but it should not surprise that I should hear it and other songs on the new album so strongly through the lens of its temporal context, this mid-June 2009.

Therefore I shall simply quote its lyrics, and leave you consider their applicability to those who hopefully will all reach their thousandth posts themselves, and go further beyond them:

The carousel begins to slow
I take my chances
So far removed I failed to see
The recklessness that’s shown
In all my words and deeds
The good in other souls
I never failed to see

Can you see the light?
As far as the eyes can see
From this point above the world
Where mortals dare their destiny

As it radiates
May I witness open eyes
Let me remain
Where there is light

In want of courage
It is as a shield for me
In want of hope
It reassures and carries me

As it radiates
May I witness open eyes
Let me remain
Where there is light

Letting go was never easy
Risking all for what I wanted, never needed
Deliberated whether I should serve the cause
Of greater things
As we moved worlds apart

Can you see the light?
As far as the eyes can see
From this point above the world
Where mortals dare their destiny

As it radiates
May I witness open eyes
Let me remain
Where there is light

The greatest words would still fail me now
These emotions I cannot describe
I want to be where I don’t need to hide myself
And remain here til the end of time

The gods play games with mortal hearts
As the carousel goes round
As I looked on I saw the crowds
Who’d gathered walk away

Can you see the light?
As far as the eyes can see
From this point above the world
Where mortals dare their destiny

As it radiates
May I witness open eyes
Let me remain
Where there is light

In want of courage
It is as a shield for me
In want of hope
It reassures and carries me

As it radiates
May I witness open eyes
Let me remain
Where there is light

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