The idiot joys of today

Just a catch-all of things that are idiotically joyful. They make me happy in their unrivalled stupidity.

  • Three generations back or so, Stalin’s Russia dealt with its troublesome artists by executing them or otherwise finishing them off. In Putin’s Russia, they send flying penis toys — NSFW, obviously — to annoy their chessmasters in opposition. I’d suggest this is actually progress.
  • Uwe Boll is at heart a goof, and he can be as much of a goof as he wants to be. Anyone who decided to take him on in that boxing match takes him far more seriously than he himself does. But I do like the fact that for the adaptation of Postal that’s about to be released, he seems to have decided he wants to make a live-action South Park film. There is, needless to say, nothing wrong with this:

    The first sequence of the film, which opens on Friday, portrays 9/11 hijackers squabbling over the precise number of virgins who will be awaiting them after their martyrdom. The scene switches to a World Trade Center’s-eye view of an oncoming jet.

    As the movie’s scattershot plot rocks along, the audience gets a long full-frontal look at a nude Dave Foley, the boyish comic best known for his work in the Kids in the Hall comedy troupe and on the television show “News Radio,” who portrays a sleazy satyr of a cult leader. By the time the film’s protagonist, played by Zack Ward, uses a cat for a silencer, the boundaries of good taste have been left so far behind that the Hubble Space Telescope couldn’t spot the border signs.

    Earlier this month he received an e-mail message from the chief buyer for the Regal Entertainment Group, the largest theater chain in the country, informing him that Regal would not be exhibiting “Postal”: “While I have respected your past work this film falls short of the type of product the Regal Theater Group would consider commercial.”

    Mr. Boll denounced the decision as politics. (The film portrays President Bush as not only in league with Osama bin Laden but also in love with him.)

    Above all else, a cat as a silencer? Genius, really.

    Anyway, the opening of the film is here. I take no responsibility for any conniptions you might suffer.

  • Finally, while it’s a couple of days old, I firmly believe that the ILX-spawned EVIL GUIDE DOG meme must spread. Please do your part.

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